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(from Page 1) Since Richard was unable to be here on the
December 12th, Lily played the Prelude. And when we found out that
Michael would be playing in a recital at the Longview Mall, many of us
were able to enjoy a casual lunch in the Food Court and then listen to
Michael play. His proud and happy mom said it was the best he had ever
played. I guess having his UFL groupies there to cheer him on helped
him achieve a Personal Best Performance!
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Spelunking
Julie Hart
Since I was going to west Texas for my son's wedding, I decided to
incorporate a trip to Carlsbad Caverns into my travel
 plans.
I did some research on the internet and found out that I could go on
tours that involved literally crawling into the Earth. Bob Robbins'
site explained the basics of caving: "Moving through a cave is seldom
like a stroll above ground. The surfaces you are traversing are seldom
level and frequently will be littered with large blocks of rock, known
as breakdown. These require constant scrambling up, down, and over;
squeezing between and under; and being alert for loose rock that might
shift when stepped on or fall on someone below you. Other passages may
be narrow canyons or fissures where "chimneying" is required, using
pressure on opposite walls for support as you climb. Still others will
be low enough to require crouching, duck- walking, hands and knees
crawling, or even belly- crawling as the ceiling drops lower."
Sounded like fun! I could do that!! I hoped.
Doing an off-trail caving trip at Carlsbad proved to be one of the
hardest and one of the most fulfilling things I’ve
ever done. Not scared of heights, so looking way, way, way down at
emptiness was okay. Not scared of enclosed spaces, so crawling on my
stomach in spaces only 18" high was okay. Not afraid of the dark, so
only having light from a hard hat lamp was okay. Not afraid of
sweating (oops, perspiring) and getting dirty, so emerging looking
like a street urchin was okay. Not afraid of snakes, spiders, bats,
etc., so that was okay. But….having a paralyzing fear of falling is a
whole different story.
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I learned something last
weekend (beside the fact that I still don’t like my ex-husband). I
learned that I CAN do some thing that I would have sworn I never would
attempt. Chimneying: the act of
climbing two relatively vertical and parallel rock faces by applying
pressure with parts of the body to the opposing rock surfaces. (And in
my case, being unable to see the bottom of the abyss.) There's nothing
to hold on to and nothing to grab if you start to fall. I peered into
the abyss and knew the depth of my fear. I still don't know exactly
how I did it, but now I can proudly say, "Been there. Done all
that!%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
CommonGround : Archive : December 2004
TWENTYSOMETHING
Falling
Ishi Dinim
Recovering from waves of sickness. Truly amazing how much unwanted
product a human body can create, an abundant natural reminder to
cherish our capabilities. Since the end of the summer I’ve been trying
to deal with feeling crappy beyond words while working at the same
time. Lots of coughing and time to dwell.
In between stints of hard work I fell ill for six weeks with a
sinus infection. Most of that time was spent stuck in bed, stuck with
myself. When you’ve got that much time to knock around in your brain
certain things become apparent, a sense of bitter honesty creeps in.
There were moments when I really believed that I might be dying. I
knew I was sick for so many reasons. I started to take responsibility
for those that I could, for allowing my lifestyle to create disease.
Working inside the belly of a propaganda entertainment machine isn’t
always inspiring or satisfying. I have internalized the notion that I
am cheap labor, an automaton devoid of personality. I often search
see Falling Page 3
go to page 3
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